Dermaplaning is usually only performed on the face and generally excludes any blading of the nose, eye lids, neck, or chest.  Furthermore, it is recommended that the procedure be done every 3 to 4 weeks (or once a month), which coincides with a normal skin cycle of approximately 30 days.  Along with sloughing away dead skin cells, dermaplaning can help reduce the visibility of acne scarring and slight wrinkling, as well as do away with extraneous vellous (translucent) hairs on the face.  If desired, the procedure can be followed with a chemical peel, though this could potentially cause the skin to peel due to over-exfoliation.

Who needs it?

Dermaplaning is ideal for those with uneven skin, acne scarring, and fine lines around their mouth and eyes.  Also, for women who have a little extra fuzz on their face, blading can be a pain-free alternative to tweezing and waxing.  Dermaplaning can also serve as an adequate treatment for men who suffer from razor burn and bumps caused by shaving.  However, because the procedure is a healthy treatment for the skin on your face, almost all people can benefit from the skin rejuvenation that dermaplaning promotes, no matter what skin color, male or female.

Benefits

There are several benefits to blading that may make it the ideal method of skin exfoliation for you.  First of all, no chemicals are involved, which means less irritation for your newly sensitive skin.  Secondly, a session will generally last no more than 30 minutes and won’t leave you with a red, swollen complexion afterwards.  In fact, results can be noticed immediately.  Furthermore, because the blade being used is small, dermaplaning can target specific problem areas more easily and skillfully than other procedures that use larger instruments and focus on the face as a whole.  To top that off, dermaplaning generally costs around $200 per session, which is relatively cheap compared to similar procedures such as TCA peels ($800) and dermabrasion ($1,500 to $2,000).

Also, there’s no need for women to fear that the vellous hair on their face will grow back thicker after it’s been bladed because it won’t.  Unlike terminal hairs, which are thicker (men’s facial hair, leg hair), vellous hairs grow back the same after they’ve been removed, as the structure of the hair does not become damaged.

Risks

Dermaplaning is relatively safe, all things considered.  Bleeding is possible (as a blade is being used), but it is rare and about as painful as nicking yourself while shaving.  Just make sure that the person treating you is trained and certified.

Otherwise, treatment is not recommended for anyone with severe acne.  It should also be noted that your skin will feel sensitive after a session, so you’ll want to be cognizant of that and take the proper precautions, as far as protection from the sun.  Lastly, if you have deep set frown lines or extensive wrinkles, don’t expect dermaplaning to eradicate them.  Blading is considered to be surface work and will not correct the natural breakdown of collagen in your face.

The bottom line

Dermaplaning is a safe and non-invasive way to help rejuvenate skin.  Take into account that it’s relatively quick and cheap, and you got yourself a winner.  Now if they could only find a way to incorporate a gun into the process.

What is it?

Brachioplasty is a form of cosmetic surgery with the primary focus of eliminating loose skin and excess fat in the upper arm region.  Also known as an upper-arm lift, the procedure entails a reshaping of the upper arm from the underarm to the elbow, ultimately lifting and tightening loose skin.  The procedure revolves around the surgeon making an incision that runs from the crease in your armpit to your elbow.  Once the incision is made the surgeon may do a number of things, such as tightening the arms, lifting the skin, removing any excess fat, and tightening arm ligaments.  It is an outpatient procedure that generally takes two hours and requires general anesthesia.

Following surgery, the skin will be sutured and the upper arms will need to be wrapped in an elastic sleeve in order to ensure a healthy recovery and to keep swelling at a minimum.  Undoubtedly, patients will have limited use of their arms immediately following the surgery and must take extreme caution over the next couple of weeks when it comes to lifting things and extending the arms.  If your stitches are not absorbable, then you’ll have to return to your surgeon within the two weeks of initial recovery in order to have them removed.  Depending on your surgeon, he  may request you follow a regimen of light exercise and stretching in an effort to prevent any loss of range or motion of the arms.  Otherwise, any other type of strenuous activity of exercise is discouraged for two weeks following the procedure.

Who needs it?

Brachioplasty is ideal for those who have sagging on the upper arms due to aging, genetics, or weight loss.  The best and most common candidates for surgery are those that have lost an extreme amount of weight, such as those who have had recently undergone weight loss surgery.  Naturally, skin stretches to accommodate an increase in weight. So when a drastic amount of weight is diminished, the skin sags because it is already stretched out.

An upper-arm lift is primarily meant to correct loose, sagging skin, which means if the skin on your upper arms is fairly tight but you have an excess of fat in that area, brachioplasty may not be the best procedure.  In that case, liposuction would be the preferred method of cosmetic surgery, which is also good news for you because you won’t have to deal with any scars.

Benefits

Brachioplasty will be most beneficial to those who have extremely loose and flabby skin on their upper arms.  If you’ve grown self-conscious about that extra flab, then an upper-arm lift can produce great results, as it contours your arms for a more youthful and healthy appearance.

The dramatic results that brachioplasty can produce are impressive, considering that you’ll be able to return home the same day as the procedure and you’ll be able to return to work in about 3 to 7 days (unless your job requires you to load and unload heavy cargo).

Risks

The biggest drawback to the procedure is that it comes with a fairly noticeable scar that runs from your armpit to your elbow, or in extreme cases, past your elbow.  While the scar should be located in the least conspicuous part of the arm (inner arm toward the back), the sheer length of it will ensure some visibility.  Therefore, if you’re skin is only slightly saggy under the arms, it might not be worth it to undergo brachioplasty.  Furthermore, the scars can take up to 24 months to fade (depending on the quality of your skin) and swelling will usually last for up to 3 to 6 months.

The Bottom Line

An upper-arm lift is meant to tighten lax skin on the arms, with a secondary focus on removing excess fat.  Therefore, if your prime target is removing excess fat from your upper arms, it would be best to undergo liposuction.  Still, in many cases, brachioplasty is well worth the scar it brings, as it can raise confidence for those that have felt oppressed by their flabby arms.

Dermaplaning is usually only performed on the face and generally excludes any blading of the nose, eye lids, neck, or chest.  Furthermore, it is recommended that the procedure be done every 3 to 4 weeks (or once a month), which coincides with a normal skin cycle of approximately 30 days.  Along with sloughing away dead skin cells, dermaplaning can help reduce the visibility of acne scarring and slight wrinkling, as well as do away with extraneous vellous (translucent) hairs on the face.  If desired, the procedure can be followed with a chemical peel, though this could potentially cause the skin to peel due to over-exfoliation.

Who needs it?

Dermaplaning is ideal for those with uneven skin, acne scarring, and fine lines around their mouth and eyes.  Also, for women who have a little extra fuzz on their face, blading can be a pain-free alternative to tweezing and waxing.  Dermaplaning can also serve as an adequate treatment for men who suffer from razor burn and bumps caused by shaving.  However, because the procedure is a healthy treatment for the skin on your face, almost all people can benefit from the skin rejuvenation that dermaplaning promotes, no matter what skin color, male or female.

Benefits

There are several benefits to blading that may make it the ideal method of skin exfoliation for you.  First of all, no chemicals are involved, which means less irritation for your newly sensitive skin.  Secondly, a session will generally last no more than thirty minutes and won’t leave you with a red, swollen complexion afterwards.  In fact, results can be noticed immediately.  Furthermore, because the blade being used is small, dermaplaning can target specific problem areas more easily and skillfully than other procedures that use larger instruments and focus on the face as a whole.  To top that off, dermaplaning generally costs around $200 per session, which is relatively cheap compared to similar procedures such as TCA peels ($800) and dermabrasion ($1,500 to $2,000).

Also, there’s no need for women to fear that the vellous hair on their face will grow back thicker after it’s been bladed because it won’t.  Unlike terminal hairs, which are thicker (men’s facial hair, leg hair), vellous hairs grow back the same after they’ve been removed, as the structure of the hair does not become damaged.

Risks

Dermaplaning is relatively safe, all things considered.  Bleeding is possible (as a blade is being used), but it is rare and about as painful as nicking yourself while shaving.  Just make sure that the person treating you is trained and certified.

Otherwise, treatment is not recommended for anyone with severe acne.  It should also be noted that your skin will feel sensitive after a session, so you’ll want to be cognizant of that and take the proper precautions, as far as protection from the sun.  Lastly, if you have deep set frown lines or extensive wrinkles, don’t expect dermaplaning to eradicate them.  Blading is considered to be surface work and will not correct the natural breakdown of collagen in your face.

The bottom line

Dermaplaning is a safe and non-invasive way to help rejuvenate skin.  Take into account that it’s relatively quick and cheap, and you got yourself a winner.  Now if they could only find a way to incorporate a gun into the process.

The information in the article is not intended to substitute for the medical expertise and advice of your healthcare provider. We encourage you to discuss any decisions about treatment or care with an appropriate healthcare provider.

Tags: blading, chemical peels, dermabrasion, dermaplaning, dermatologist, dermatome, immediate results, leveling the skin, manual exfoliation, skin rejuvenation, surface work, vellous hair removal

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What is it?

Brachioplasty is a form of cosmetic surgery with the primary focus of eliminating loose skin and excess fat in the upper arm region.  Also known as an upper-arm lift, the procedure entails a reshaping of the upper arm from the underarm to the elbow, ultimately lifting and tightening loose skin.  The procedure revolves around the surgeon making an incision that runs from the crease in your armpit to your elbow.  Once the incision is made the surgeon may do a number of things, such as tightening the arms, lifting the skin, removing any excess fat, and tightening arm ligaments.  It is an outpatient procedure that generally takes two hours and requires general anesthesia.

Following surgery, the skin will be sutured and the upper arms will need to be wrapped in an elastic sleeve in order to ensure a healthy recovery and to keep swelling at a minimum.  Undoubtedly, patients will have limited use of their arms immediately following the surgery and must take extreme caution over the next couple of weeks when it comes to lifting things and extending the arms.  If your stitches are not absorbable, then you’ll have to return to your surgeon within the two weeks of initial recovery in order to have them removed.  Depending on your surgeon, he  may request you follow a regimen of light exercise and stretching in an effort to prevent any loss of range or motion of the arms.  Otherwise, any other type of strenuous activity of exercise is discouraged for two weeks following the procedure.

Who needs it?

Brachioplasty is ideal for those who have sagging on the upper arms due to aging, genetics, or weight loss.  The best and most common candidates for surgery are those that have lost an extreme amount of weight, such as those who have had recently undergone weight loss surgery.  Naturally, skin stretches to accommodate an increase in weight. So when a drastic amount of weight is diminished, the skin sags because it is already stretched out.

An upper-arm lift is primarily meant to correct loose, sagging skin, which means if the skin on your upper arms is fairly tight but you have an excess of fat in that area, brachioplasty may not be the best procedure.  In that case, liposuction would be the preferred method of cosmetic surgery, which is also good news for you because you won’t have to deal with any scars.

Benefits

Brachioplasty will be most beneficial to those who have extremely loose and flabby skin on their upper arms.  If you’ve grown self-conscious about that extra flab, then an upper-arm lift can produce great results, as it contours your arms for a more youthful and healthy appearance.

The dramatic results that brachioplasty can produce are impressive, considering that you’ll be able to return home the same day as the procedure and you’ll be able to return to work in about 3 to 7 days (unless your job requires you to load and unload heavy cargo).

Risks

The biggest drawback to the procedure is that it comes with a fairly noticeable scar that runs from your armpit to your elbow, or in extreme cases, past your elbow.  While the scar should be located in the least conspicuous part of the arm (inner arm toward the back), the sheer length of it will ensure some visibility.  Therefore, if you’re skin is only slightly saggy under the arms, it might not be worth it to undergo brachioplasty.  Furthermore, the scars can take up to 24 months to fade (depending on the quality of your skin) and swelling will usually last for up to 3 to 6 months.

The bottom line

An upper-arm lift is meant to tighten lax skin on the arms, with a secondary focus on removing excess fat.  Therefore, if your prime target is removing excess fat from your upper arms, it would be best to undergo liposuction.  Still, in many cases, brachioplasty is well worth the scar it brings, as it can raise confidence for those that have felt oppressed by their flabby arms.

The information in the article is not intended to substitute for the medical expertise and advice of your healthcare provider. We encourage you to discuss any decisions about treatment or care with an appropriate healthcare provider.

Tags: brachioplasty, cosmetic surgery, lax skin, liposuction, outpatient, plastic surgery, scar, upper arm care, Upper arm lift, weight loss surgery

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Treatments generally last 20 to 30 minutes (depending on the size of the area) and are relatively painless. Basically, the area being treated will be cleansed, after which a thin layer of topical cooling gel will be applied which will help eliminate any discomfort on the patient’s behalf (unless the patient’s uncomfortable with cooling gel). From there, a laser will emit intense pulses of light that will penetrate the skin, in turn causing collagen and blood vessels to constrict. Most people will notice a redness or tenderness to the area directly after treatment, though that will die down within 24 hours.

A Fotofacial is ideal because it combines optical energy with radio frequency energy. Therefore, the visible light energy is absorbed by the pigment in the skin’s surface, helping eliminate discoloration, while the radio frequency energy stimulates the production of new collagen, helping skin look naturally tighter. That being said, results are progressive, meaning over time, ideal results will be reached. Ideally, four to five treatments (about once a month) should be given to truly reach long-lasting, optimum results.

Who needs it?

Ideal candidates for a Fotofacial will either have problems resulting from pigmentation discoloration or slight wrinkling or scarring. Therefore, a Fotofacial can treat an of conditions including fine lines (around the eyes and mouth especially), rosacea, broken capillaries, flushing, sun damage, pore size, hyperpigmentation, melasma, spider veins, acne scars, and even freckles. Furthermore, the procedure is known to reduce the appearance of dark circles below the eyes, as well as chronic facial redness. Lastly, it should be noted that younger patients with milder cases of skin damage or signs of early aging will generally see greater results than older patients.

Benefits

The biggest benefit to the Fotofacial is that there is virtually no downtime and discomfort is minimal at best. The procedure is also fairly quick, does not require the use of anesthesia, and is outpatient, meaning you can resume your daily schedule immediately following treatment. The Fotofacial is impressive because it combines the work of two different procedures, such as a chemical peel and an anti-winkle filler, therefore eliminating two problems (discoloration and wrinkling) at the same time, but in quicker and non-invasive fashion.

Risks

The procedure is low risk. However, practice proper sunscreen on the areas that have been treated for the 24 hours following the procedure, as those areas will be particularly sensitive to sunlight.

Otherwise, you should know that the Fotofacial is not a substitute for a standard facelift, and will therefore not be effective against deep-set wrinkles, especially if they are located on the forehead or between the brows. This goes for deep scarring, as well. Simply put, the procedure improves the general texture and refinement of the skin. Lastly, be aware that several treatments are necessary in order to receive ideal results and that improvements will not necessarily be noticeable immediately, especially the tightening of the skin (as new collagen can take several months to fully develop).

Therefore, the multiple treatments, as well as any maintenance your physician finds necessary (such as specially formulated skin care products) may end up costing you more than you’d like.

The Bottom Line

The Fotofacial is one of many new laser-assisted cosmetic treatments. What it has going for it is that it not only tackles skin laxity but other undesirable skin defects such as rosacea and hyperpigmentation. Unfortunately, it requires multiple treatments. Because of the bevy of laser skin treatments available today, the Fotofacial may or may not be the best choice for you depending on your needs.

What is it?

Smart Lipo is a laser-assisted form of liposuction that aims at reducing small, localized pockets of fat.  The versatile procedure can be used on many areas of the body including the face, neck, jowls, arms, back, belly, thighs, waist, and hips.  Furthermore, it is considered an ideal solution for reducing male breasts, known as gynecomastia.

The procedure itself only requires some small incisions and is relatively less invasive than normal liposuction.  Basically, the surgeon will use local anesthetic to numb the areas being treated, at which point the laser will be inserted into the skin and heat fat cells, which then break down into liquid fat.  From there, a small incision will need to be made in order to insert a cannula (basically a tiny tube) which will extract the newly dissolved, liquefied fat cells.  In scenarios where the treated area is very small, the body will simply absorb the liquefied fat and excrete it through the liver, eliminating the need for cannulas.

Recovery can be marred by a limited amount of pain, but is overall considered to be a lot more manageable than the downtime involved with traditional liposuction.  Because the incisions made during the procedure are so small, they do not require any stitches.  Also, the use of the laser makes bleeding, swelling, and bruising less likely, as the laser closes off small blood vessels under the skin.  However, any bruising or swelling that does occur will likely diminish within 2 to 3 days.  Also, depending on where you’ve been treated, your surgeon may request that you wear a specialized compression garment to help you heal faster and discourage any possible swelling.

Generally speaking, patients can return to work 24 hours after the procedure, though it is recommended that they avoid strenuous exercise and hot tubs for at least two weeks.  Results can be seen after about a week, but it can take several months before optimal results will be reached.

Who needs it?

Ideal candidates for Smart Lipo are patients who practice good health, ideally eating right and exercising.  I know what you’re thinking, “If I ate healthy and exercised, then I wouldn’t need Smart Lipo in the first place.”  Point taken.  Still, some people’s bodies have a harder time responding to exercise, leaving problem areas that won’t tone up no matter how hard they try.  These are people that are considered ideal for the procedure because chances are, they’ll continue to maintain a healthy lifestyle after the surgery.  This is important because nothing is stopping someone from gaining back the fat that they paid to get melted away.

In other words, if you have serious weight issues, you may want to bypass Smart Lipo and shoot for traditional liposuction, which will provide much more drastic results.  That being said, Smart Lipo works well in conjunction with liposuction, as it tightens the skin and targets smaller, more specific areas of fat.  Still, the average person will benefit from Smart Lipo as it will tighten and tone specific areas.  However, it’s up to you to keep it that way.

Benefits

One of the biggest benefits to Smart Lipo is that the laser being used to dissolve fat cells will also stimulate the production of collagen, the protein that strengthens skin and keeps it looking firm (you know, the stuff that Joan Rivers injects into her face).  Otherwise, compared to traditional liposuction, Smart Lipo is a breeze as it doesn’t require stitches, has a shorter recovery time (two days as opposed to seven), and leaves reduced scarring and bruising.

Risks

Certain medical conditions can prevent people from experiencing the joys of Smart Lipo.  These conditions include: diabetes, liver or kidney disorders, heart conditions, blood disorders, and autoimmune disorders.  A consultation with your surgeon will be made prior to the procedure, where you will go over your medical history and discuss any medications you may be taking.

The bottom line

Smart Lipo is not a miracle worker.  Still, if you have specific problem areas that don’t respond to exercise and eating healthy, Smart Lipo is a relatively painless solution.

So if you consider yourself to be a cheaper, busier Joan Rivers, you won’t want to miss out on these “weekend” face lifts.

Have you ever thought, “I feel like getting a face lift but only a little bit.”  Or, “I feel like getting a face lift but I’m too busy.” Or the third, “I feel like getting a face lift but I don’t have the funds.”  Well, luckily for you, the mini face lift solves all three of those problems.  So if you consider yourself a cheaper, busier Joan Rivers, you won’t want to miss these “weekend” face lifts.

What is it?

The mini face lift, also known as the “weekend” face lift or “s” face lift, is a relatively new cosmetic procedure that specifically targets the neck, cheeks, and jawline.  It basically uses the same techniques as a standard face lift except instead of treating the entire face it focuses on the lower third of the face.  As with a standard face lift, small incisions will need to be made, most commonly behind the ear and beneath the chin.

Two primary methods are used within the practice of mini face lifts that patients can either get done individually or combined; these are known as anterior or posterior.  The anterior mini refers to work being done solely on the lower face, whereas the posterior mini specifically targets the neck and jowl area.  Therefore, the posterior mini is often referred to as a neck lift. Furthermore, mini face lifts can either be endoscopic or non-endoscopic.  Endoscopic treatment requires the use of a small camera that is inserted beneath the skin which helps aid the surgeon as he removes excess fat and reshapes muscles.  Non-endoscopic treatment does not require a camera, but rather more continuous incisions and the turning over of skin to more readily expose the area being treated.

In any case, the basic procedure of a mini face lift involves the surgeon gently lifting skin from the underlying tissue.  The surgeon will remove a narrow “s” shaped section of skin, at which point the skin will be lifted and the underlying muscles and tissues will either be tightened or repositioned.

Who needs it?

Ideal candidates for the mini face lift are those who are beginning to notice the first stages of sagging skin and wrinkles.  So, if you’re in your 30s or 40s and are beginning to notice slight signs of aging, you may want to consider a mini face lift before you go all in with the more expensive, standard face lift.  Also, be mindful that mini face lifts are ideal for targeting specific problem areas, primarily in the lower third of the face.  Therefore, if you have worry lines from constantly furrowing your brow, a mini face lift is not the answer.

Also, if you’re an aging politician or celeb (What?  I’m sure lots of celebs read these blog articles) a mini face lift could be just what you need to compete with those younger, hotshot competitors with their tight faces and smarmy attitudes.  Considering that the mini face lift is less invasive than a full-on face lift, and therefore less noticeable, it is ideal for those who are constantly in the spotlight.  Even you, public access weatherman, should consider a mini face lift.

Benefits

Due to the minimized invasive nature of the procedure (especially when compared to a standard face lift), mini face lifts greatly reduce the risk of scarring, as it requires less incisions than a normal face lift.  Additionally, the results are generally long-lasting, with a shelf life usually around seven to 10 years, depending on lifestyle (so, if you chain smoke and hang out with Mickey Rourke a lot, you’ve been warned).

However, the biggest benefit to mini face lifts is the reduced price when compared to a standard face lift.  It can be performed relatively quicker (one to two hours), requires less anesthesia, and patients can return home shortly after the procedure; all these factors directly contribute to the reduced cost.

Tags: anterior, brow, bruising, busy, cheaper, cheeks, chin, competitors, cosmetic surgery, discomfort, ear, endoscopic, endoscpoic, face lifts, faces, funds, home, incisions, jawline, joan rivers, jowl, lifestyle, lines, lower third, lower third of face, mini facelift, neck, neck lift, non-endoscopic, noticeable, patients, posterior, problems, s face lift, s facelift, scarring, spotlight, swelling, week, weekend, weekend facelift, younger

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Quick Notice of Etiquette

Looking at boobs that aren’t your significant others has always been frowned upon by society. There’s the eye catch, and then of course the eye roll, swiftly followed by the drooping of the head in shame and embarrassment. We’ve all done it, but why not analyze what’s really going on there. Boobs, or breasts, are some of nature’s most gorgeous and unapologetic sculptures; they provide life for struggling hungry babies and they also provide incentive (more on that later). So, why not flaunt your breasts, let the opposing sex enjoy them, and not be so darn protective. I mean hey, when life hands you lemons, you surgically implant those lemons into your chest cavity to make it look like your “thingies” are bigger.

With that said, here’s the list.

5.  Jewel

It’s hard to tell if they actually got bigger since they were hidden behind an acoustic guitar and a cardigan sweater for so long, but this counts as a boob job regardless.

Remember Jewel?  She sang a song that sounded like this- “Who will shaaave your shoul?”  It’s okay if you don’t remember, in fact, you’re better off forgetting that Jewel.  Of course I’m talking about the old Jewel, the one who played at Lilith Fair, sang while playing acoustic guitar (on a stool no less), and looked like a middle school guidance counselor.

But that all changed when she released her album 0304, which ditched her former folky aspirations for a more dance-oriented sound.  She also ditched her J Crew turtlenecks in favor of some neon, low-cut numbers, which displayed a couple aspects of Jewel that the world had never noticed before. It’s hard to tell if they actually got bigger since they were hidden behind an acoustic guitar and a cardigan sweater for so long, but this counts as a boob job regardless.  Supposedly, her foray into pop music was a tongue-in-cheek assessment of the “celebutante” era.  Who doesn’t like a good, ironic boob job?  Satire can be wonderful, especially when it involves dressing like a prostitute!

4.  Denise Richards

Recently on The Howard Stern Show, Richards confessed to having had three boob jobs over the course of her much respected career.

Recently on The Howard Stern Show, Richards confessed to having had three boob jobs over the course of her much respected career.  That’s the kind of dedication that these young, lazy Youtube-generation actresses can learn from.  In fact, this kind of dedication leads me to believe that Charlie Sheen was at fault for their divorce, seeing as how she’s certainly not a quitter.  Agents and studio heads repeatedly kept telling her, “No one wants to see your breasts anymore.  You’ve gotten too old.  You’re a mother, for Christ’s sakes!”  But she didn’t listen, ultimately keeping her career afloat with some serious “floatation devices”.

Thanks to her determination, she has maintained the respect that an MTV Movie Award winner deserves.

3.  Heidi Montag

By banking on America’s inherent love of boobs, Montag has etched out a nice little career for herself

In many ways, Montag can credit her blossoming career to her blossoming chest.  Before her breast augmentation, she was just another cast member of The Hills, the MTV equivalent of Seinfeld, in that the show was about absolutely nothing.  While the rest of her fellow cast-mates faded into much-deserved obscurity, Montag fought the natural order of things by getting one of the least subtle boob jobs in recent history, ensuring herself some front page tabloid coverage.

But instead of marching straight down to the offices of Penthouse, Montag made a power move by marrying Spencer Pratt, an even bigger boob than the ones on her chest.  By banking on America’s inherent love of boobs, Montag has etched out a nice little career for herself and her tit of a husband.  Not only does she have her own fashion line, Heidiwood, but she’s releasing her debut album in September.  Surely, this is proof that breast implants can make you sing better.

2.  Pamela Anderson

Pam is out there letting women know that it’s okay to have big, ridiculously fake-looking breasts, a once popular look that has recently been under scrutiny.

Come on, you think we’re going to leave out Pam Anderson on a top 5 boob job countdown?  She’s like the Wayne Gretzky of breast implants.  She’s an old school girl (seriously, she’s pretty old) who still firmly believes in the motto, “the bigger, the better”.  Naturally, in this new age of iPod nanos and baby Smart Cars, Anderson’s behemoths are nothing short of grotesque.  But hey, we can’t all be cool and sarcastic and tiny like Juno.

Pam is out there letting women know that it’s okay to have big, ridiculously fake-looking breasts, a once popular look that has recently been under scrutiny.  Well you know what, prejudice is a terrible thing.  In fact, Pam is like a boob job civil rights leader.  She’s like Rosa Parks.  She’s like Rosa Parks and Wayne Gretzky but with really huge boobs.  The proof, you ask?  Back in 1999 she had breast reduction surgery to reduce the massive size of her implants.  But shortly thereafter she got her breasts enlarged again.  Those are morals, people.  You have to respect that.

Tags: actresses, aspirations, babies, better, bigger, boob job, breast implants, career, cast member, celebrity, celebutante, chest, confesses, cougar, counselor, dedication, denise Richards, embarrassment, expert, eye catch, fake-looking, franchise, heidi montag, Housewives, humans, jewel, job, lemons, low-cut, mother, motto, obscurity, old, Pamela Anderson, penthouse, plastic surgery, played, prostitute, protective, quitter, reality television, respect, sculptures, sex, sing, society, teens, tiny, top 5, TV

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The surgery lasts somewhere around two hours and consists of a small incision being made behind the ear, in the crease where the ear and head meet.

What is it?

Otoplasty is a cosmetic surgery procedure that aims to reduce the size of large, floppy ears.  While there are many different scenarios and procedures within the field of otolaryngology (an English word so suspiciously long, one might suspect it’s somehow German), the most common is referred to as “pinning back the ears”, which helps to correct ears that protrude too far from the head (2 cm from the back of the head, to be exact, though I’m not sure what ear impresario decided that).

The surgery lasts somewhere around two hours and consists of a small incision being made behind the ear, in the crease where the ear and head meet.  From there, the surgeon can remove skin and cartilage or possibly even reshape or trim the cartilage.  Lastly, your newly sculpted cartilage will be secured by permanent stitches.  The recovery period is generally quick (at least quicker than most plastic surgery procedures) and will probably require wearing soft dressings over the ears or possibly even a headband (maybe consider going on tour with Willie Nelson for the entirety of your headband/recovery time).

Besides pinning back the ears, otoplasty can cover mostly all of your cosmetic ear needs.  Ear deformities can be corrected, such as “lop-ear deformity”, which occurs when the raised cartilage, which shapes the upper portion of the ear, does not form completely.  Torn earlobes can also be corrected, and if you’re missing an ear (perhaps Mike Tyson bit one of them off) you can opt for a brand new artificial ear, primarily constructed out of rib cartilage, soft tissue, and maybe a biomedical implant.

Who needs it?

Ear deformities completely justify otoplasty, first and foremost.  It’s less easy to justify surgery that generally ranges between $2,000 and $5,000, because you think your ears stick out too far from your head.  But if you’re willing to pay, and there are always people willing to pay, then shoot for some otoplasty if you feel it will raise your self-esteem.  In all honesty though, after perusing through many different “before and after” pictures, I sometimes had trouble identifying which was the “before” and which was the “after”.

That being said, otoplasty is considered to be one of the most popular plastic surgery procedures among men, probably due to the higher visibility of the ears on account of shorter hair (excluding Fabio of course, who isn’t so much of a man as he is a stallion).  However, otoplasty will benefit children, as young as four or five, more than anyone.  It makes sense, considering that the only time you will probably ever be harassed for having “retarded” ears is during adolescence.

Benefits

One of the biggest benefits of cosmetic ear surgery is that it has one of the lowest risk rates among plastic surgery.  On top of that, otoplasty can correct a wide range of ear deformities, such as large ears, small ears, protruding ears, cupped ears, cauliflower ears, and folded ears.  But of course, the most evident benefit is psychological (this is cosmetic surgery, folks), which means you feel less likely to be a target, naturally raising self-confidence by eliminating bullies.

Risks

Though otoplasty is considered low-risk, complications can possibly occur, such as infection, overcorrection, and, in extremely rare cases, altered hearing.  In addition to that, common side effects from the procedure are postoperative pain, itching, and occasional numbness, though all of these can be easily treated with medication.

The bottom line

Due to its low risk nature, otoplasty is can be a quick fix for deformed ears, whether naturally deformed or deformed from an accident.  However, it’s a lot of money for a problem that, in terms of adults, seems rather trivial, especially if your ears are only slightly larger than normal.  The procedure appears to be more appropriate for children… but let’s face it, children getting plastic surgery seems a little dubious as well.  And plus, look what great things big-eared people have done with their lives: Martin Lawrence had his own sitcom and was nominated for an MTV movie award for his portrayal of “Big Momma” in the unforgettable Big Momma’s House; Prince Charles is a freaking prince; Will Smith, who is technically a prince as well, wrote and performed “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It”, which is considered by some (me) to be the national anthem; and come on, let’s not forget our president, Barack Obama, letting big-eared kids all around the country know that someday they can be president too.

The information in the article is not intended to substitute for the medical expertise and advice of your health care provider. We encourage you to discuss any decisions about treatment or care with an appropriate health care provider.

Tags: accident, adolescence, biomedical implant, cartilage, cosmetic ear surgery, crease, ear deformities, ear impresario, flappy, folded ears, head, incision, infection, large ears, low risk, otoplasty, over correction, permanent stitches, pinning back, pinning back ears, plastic surgery, protruding ears, recovery period, self-esteem, skin, small ears, surgeons, torn earlobe

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Titan Laser is one of the available cosmetic laser treatments that have been taking the country by storm. Termed as an effective alternative to a facelift, Titan aims at tightening (is anyone else excited that “Titan” and “tighten” are homonyms?) lax skin.

The Titan Laser actually just tightens your skin.  But it takes several months for the results to settle in.  So what’s stopping someone from buying a lab coat and a cheap laser pointer, taking your check for $1,500, and then fleeing the country, while you wait for your sagging jowls to tighten up?  Well, nothing really.

What is it?

Titan Laser is one of the available cosmetic laser treatments that have been taking the country by storm.  Termed as an effective alternative to a facelift, Titan aims at tightening lax skin.  Besides being used to tighten the more common problem areas, such as the forehead, neck, cheeks, and jowls, Titan can treat almost any part of the body, including less easily treated areas such as the abdomen, the upper arm, and around the knees.

Basically, the laser works by stimulating the collagen lying directly below the surface of the skin, helping it to contract and thicken collagen fibers that, over time, stretch and result in sagging skin.  The laser used is a safe infrared light source that uses state-of-the-art wavelength filtering to heat the deeper dermis without burning a hole through your epidermis (skin).  To ensure your skin’s safety, continuous contact cooling will occur to the area being treated with a device known as the Titan hand-piece.

A procedure can last anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and is usually only necessary once to be effective.  While minimal results may be apparent within the weeks following the treatment, it generally takes somewhere between three to eight months before any real progress will be made.  This is primarily due to the fact that Titan stimulates collagen to tighten lax skin, which can be a lengthy process, as your existing collagen is thickening and new collagen is forming.

Who needs it?

Titan would be ideal for anyone, men and women, who feel their skin is simply too loose or saggy.  Perhaps you will find Titan worth your while if you have areas besides your face that you’d like tightened, which is not always possible with anti-wrinkle fillers.  Basically, most people could be considered candidates, with the exception of those with severe sun-damaged skin and those with excessive wrinkles.

Benefits

Titan Laser is ideal because it’s non-invasive, non-surgical, painless, and there’s virtually no downtime.  Any side effects are minimal, usually resulting in some redness and mild swelling that should die down within a few hours.  A topical numbing cream will usually be applied to areas before they are treated, although there is no serious pain involved with the procedure and therefore, no need for sedatives or anesthesia.

Also, unlike competitor machines, Titan uses a unique optical energy source, as opposed to the more common radio-frequency energy source, which runs the risk of injuring fat and causing dimples.  And while the results may take a while to set in, it’s an overall better solution for tightening skin as it helps to form new collagen.  That means less treatments are required, which gives you more time to enjoy your tight skin.

Titan Laser is ideal because it’s non-invasive, non-surgical, painless, and there’s virtually no downtime.

Risks

There are no serious risks involved with Titan, although the length of time it takes for results to show can be a little troubling, especially considering that a single treatment could possibly cost up to $2,500.  Needless to say, there is some much needed patience on behalf of the patient (hey, more homonyms!).  Also, Titan Laser will most likely not be covered by insurance, due to the cosmetic nature of the procedure.  Lastly, Titan will severely cut back on the number of Iggy Pop look-alike contests you’ll be able to enter.

The bottom line

Titan Laser has been proven to tighten skin through the formation of new collagen, which is a fairly natural and healthy way to improve skin laxity.  The trouble is, it takes months before full results are noticeable.  Though luckily, Titan’s prime demographic are the older folks.

The information in the article is not intended to substitute for the medical expertise and advice of your healthcare provider. We encourage you to discuss any decisions about treatment or care with an appropriate healthcare provider.

Tags: abdomen, anesthesia, cheeks, collagen, common problems, contract, cosmetic, cosmetic laser, deeper dermis, dimples, epidermis, excessive wrinkles, facelift, facelift alternative, forehead, heat, infrared, infrared light, knees, laser treatment, lax skin, light source, neck, non invasive, non-surgical, numbing cream, painless, sagging jowls, sedatives, side effects, skin, skin laxity, thicken, tightens, titan handpiece, titan laser, upper arm, wavelength

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